Visitation dreams are dreams associated with griefing. They help us to mend some aspects of our relationship with a loved one who has passed “through the veil”. What to say and what to do when a visitation dream occurs in your child? It may be a little bit strange but the joy it brings is incomparable! You may unknowingly be incredulous or minimize the “reality” of that event… However, for the child, as for all adults who experience it, a visitation dream brings some inner peace and a lot of healing! Let’s try to understand together this major event to be remembered all life long…
What is NOT a visitation dream
This is not a classic dream in which you vaguely see or meet your deceased. It is also not an accumulation dream in which you experience multiple situations with a deceased loved one. Nor is it an open-eyed vision. If you are wondering if your dream is really a visitation dream then the answer is no! A visitation dream is so vivid and so real that it raises no questions, no doubts!
We may consider that, at a special moment, during our sleep, our vibrations rise into the astral realm. Our deceased one can then lower theirs so that our consciousness and theirs meet and enter into phase, in a word: communicate!
I would like to point out that the visitation dream is a moment that we sometimes unconsciously wait for! Perhaps you pronounced, during the day, a sentence as : “OMG! I would so much like to tell him goodbye!” or “I would give anything to see him just one last time!”. I believe that the visitation dream is a precious moment awaited and hoped for by both, the living as the dead.
The characteristics of the real visitation dream
- It occurs between 3 a.m. and 6 a.m., when you are in a deep sleep.
- Generally it occurs when you are alone in your bed and not with your companion. It’s the same for children. It doesn’t happen when they’re at a “pajama party” with their friends!
- You are dressed in your bed when it happens, rarely without clothes for the good reason that the deceased ones totally respect your privacy! That’s something I have noticed! So if you want to have a visitation dream, don’t forget to put on your pajamas! Don’t sleep naked with only a drop of Chanel perfume as Marilyn Monroe did!
- There is no idea of accumulation in this dream. The visitation dream unfolds like a visit at home or elsewhere. Your loved one comes to visit you. You may dream that you are in your living room and your deceased is clearly there, in front of you. He speaks to you as he did when he was alive except in some dream in which he may speak without moving his lips or telepathically.
- It often takes place in a room the deceased enjoyed or in a place that bound you both. It may also take place in the new “home” of your deceased. That place may only be the starting point for a small trip together in the skies or elsewhere.
- The deceased is happy and bright. He is no longer old or sick. Generally he presents himself in the phase of his life that he appreciated the most, like his thirties. If the deceased was a child, he may appear older, at 20 for example.
- In this dream the deceased speaks with you directly or shows you some symbolic items. He tries to reassure you and to tell you how happy he is right now!
- Everything is much more realistic than in real life. It’s ten steps beyond reality as we usually see it. It really is a simple visit but it’s so realistic and clear than the scene may look bright! The deceased may sit in front of you and tell you not to worry.
- The dream is significant and positive. You will remember its contents all your life! This is really a present for life!
- When you wake up, you have regained hope. You no longer miss the deceased because you really have the feeling of having met him! You can look him straight in the eye and feel his state of mind. This is true consciousness-to-consciousness communication!
- In the visitation dream you can touch the skin of the loved one, smell his perfume, laugh with him, hug him. All the sensations of real life are there!
What the visitation dream brings
It is really made to reassure you about the future of your deceased. It reminds you that even if the body is dead, as well as the past, the invisible bond of love that you have created together remains! It is the bond of love that allows the dream of visitation to be. So you will never have a visitation dream of a deceased person that you don’t like or that you don’t want to see again!
It’s as if the deceased came to visit you on a Sunday, with an apple pie, to give you some good news! This is really the visitation dream! That’s something clear and simple! It seems that God may allow to bereaved believers to receive it. It is likely to help them to get better and to dry their tears!
I am a therapist, I practice a lot of meditation and relaxation. Ten years ago, I reframed my entire life. I stopped worrying about my career and about money and decided to seek balance and inner harmony above all. I then had many more visitation dreams! In my practice, at my office, I have heard many stories of children who had visitation dreams from their deceased grandmother or grandfather and even, for orphans, from their two parents. I never questioned these stories because the children always told them to me with so much joy and stars in their eyes! I immediately felt that the healing had passed through there! As a therapist, I consider this type of dream to be a real blessing addressed to the bereaved who are struggling to resolve their grief and resume their lives!
My ex lost one of his close friends without being able to say goodbye to him. Despite the fact that we are very little in communication and that we hardly appreciate each other anymore, he insisted on telling me about it! He was in therapy when his deceased showed up, a night, of his own, to chat with him! His late friend explained to him that he could say goodbye to him now. A few days later, on his way to see his psychologist, the latter noticed that his grief was resolved! This visitation dream had allowed him to say goodbye and to move forward into the future! I want to clarify that my ex is absolutely not Christian. He doesn’t believe in anything!
I had several visitation dreams too and I can say that the duration between death and the visitation dream is very variable. Two dreams really impressed me. The first was my grandmother, who died 20 months earlier. We lived with my husband and my son in a two-storey village house. It was a heat wave and it was very hot up there. My son was on vacation with my parents and my husband got up very early to go to work. We had put our mattress down, where it was cooler, exceptionally. Around 6 am I had my first dream visitation, my grandma was sitting on the mattress facing me and was playing jokes on me. We both laughed for quite a long time. After that, I never had the feeling that my grandmother had died but the certainty that she had just gone on vacation to a place that had given her health and smiles again! When I woke up, I was on the move, sitting on the mattress! And I could hear his laughter drift away for at least a minute! The feeling was ultra-real!
A friend of mine died very young. He and I had a little romance when we were in college. He hugged me tight and I kissed him on the cheeks. He was a very good friend. But now I refused to go out with him for fear of losing this sensational friendship! His death was for me a real obstacle course that lasted ten years! I firmly refused his departure! I didn’t even want to consider it! I saw him in 2 extraordinary visitation dreams but the third one, which happened 20 years after his disappearance, was even more incrediI found myself in my bedroom as a young girl, which was also my bedroom as a teenager, in my parents’ house. He was there, in front of me, barely older than at the time. He must have been 28 or 29 in my dream. There was on his face and in his eyes what characterized him so well: integrity and discretion. Shy but sure to make me happy he handed me a jewelry box that I opened. There were symbolic jewels inside. By their symbolism, they told me that my friend had become my guardian angel! After seeing how amazed and happy I was, he reassured me of his love and then left. I never forgot that dream. I often found on the ground, star shaped small confetti spangles used in weddings, the symbol of one of the jewels he had given me! From that day, my real mourning began. I put my anger aside and started my life again: travels, projects, love…
The visitation dreams in children
They occur like those of adults except that the deceased seem to use fewer symbols with the little ones. They express themselves more through words and by showing scenes. Some children say their mom or dad took them to fly in the clouds or sit on the clouds to sing songs together! Others receive simple gifts like balloons, flowers or candies. What matters is that these dreams, real or not, will really unlock the grief. Sometimes a child suffers from grief and does not express it. Always put yourself instead of the child who loses a loved one. What children agree to show from their interiority is only a small part of the iceberg!
How to know if your child has had a visitation dream
You have to ask him to tell you his dream, if he wants to. So you will notice if realism and sensations were there. It is really the sensations experienced that give a dream its character of visitation.
What not to say
While avoiding putting the visitation dream phenomenon on a pedestal, you can explain to your child that some researchers consider that visitation dreams are gifts from our deceased who have left for another dimension of consciousness. Don’t talk about ghosts, spirits or entities! Avoid dramatizing or amplifying this type of dream. Also, don’t tell the child that “it was just a dream” or that you don’t believe it. He might hear that healing will never come according to you! It would be the worst thing. Do not tell your child that he has gifts of mediumship and do not reduce the visitation dream to a purely esoteric aspect! This could frighten or traumatize the child. To think that we have paranormal gifts is for some people very frightening!
What to say
“Well, we all have dreams. Some are messy. But others are simple and clear. They help us overcome hardships. Some peoples believe that the deceased really visit us. You are free to have your own opinion on the subject. If believing makes you feel good then it can’t be bad”
You can, if you are a believer, tell the child that when the body dies, the bond of love remains eternal.
What you should not do
Do not encourage the child to want more dreams of this type. The visitation dream is a rare gift that is triggered when we need it and a higher intance allows it.
If you believe it too, what you can do
You can thank the deceased by laying flowers on their grave or by asking the child to draw a picture or express their gratitude in writing. You can also write with your child, like a story, the precise unfolding of the dream so that he can keep it for later, when he becomes an adult.