We all know people we don’t like but have an obligation to hang out with. Friends of our friends, friends of our spouse or in-laws, there are people whom are impossible for us to remove from our lives in order to maintain a certain family cohesion. In this article, I explain how to make sure you rise above them, their words, their often disparaging and incongruous behavior… It is not a cakewalk and requires effort, but your inner calm will be preserved.
The first point. Avoid talking to them, confiding in them. Do not bring up any project in front of them to make them jealous or to enhance your value. Imagine that your value is so great… Their mere breathing in your direction may ruin it! So be polite but don’t talk to them.
The second point. When they’re talking around you or at the end of the table, do something else that proves you’re not listening to what they’re saying. You can go to the bathroom, fix your watch, look for something in your bag or even pretend to receive a call. If the whole assembly drinks their words except you, they will understand that you don’t give a damn about them. Some will stand their ground, others will start trying to impress you again and again because they can’t stand your contempt. No matter. If they try to corner you to prove their worth to you, then leave but don’t let a single word of theirs fall into your ears!
The third point. When you speak in public or in front of them, show that you are their opposite. For example, if they have told of their fabulous vacation at the end of the world, say that you are a homebody. You love your home and you don’t need to run around the world to know your worth and to love yourself! Or if they describe their great job, just say, if they ask you what you do, that you have nothing extraordinary to tell, that you enjoy life in the present moment, as it comes and that, with you, nothing is calculated or ambitious…
The fourth point. Want a clingy person to stop clinging to you? Speak about another person of the same rank in your heart, in goodness. For example, if you want to set boundaries with your mother-in-law, talk about how close you stayed with the mother of your first love. Do it with a bit of humor: “With the son, it didn’t fit at all! Laughs. On the other hand, I still consider his mother as my second mom! We are still so close that she was even at my wedding! This woman is awesome!”
The fifth point. Many women criticize each other. They make demeaning thoughts like: “You look tired, darling!” Take the lead! Be the one who says that first! Since you usually don’t, it will ring so true and sincere. You can vary a bit by: “It’s been a long road? You look exhausted? You should rest a little!”
Last point : During all that time, stay concentrated on your own projects. Think about your next holidays or your next artistic challenge! Keep your mind busy and… elsewhere!
If you apply these tips systematically with the person who annoys you the most, they will eventually let you go!