The holiday season often revolves around gifts, decorations, and festivities, but perhaps the most meaningful gift we can give children is emotional security and the ability to acknowledge their feelings—both strengths and weaknesses. This gift fosters resilience, self-confidence, and a sense of belonging.
Understanding Children’s Emotional Intensity
When adults face sadness, frustration, or discouragement, it can feel challenging. For children, these emotions are often magnified because they lack the experience and tools to cope. Small setbacks, such as a disagreement with a friend or a perceived rejection, can feel like insurmountable obstacles. By revisiting our own childhood memories, we can remember how overwhelming these “small” moments felt and better empathize with our little ones.
For example, when I reflect on my childhood as a very sensitive child—which I must emphasize—I unfortunately remember, first and foremost, my distress, even though I am a positive person as an adult. My parents held demanding jobs with significant responsibilities and worked long hours. I was dropped off at the nanny’s house at 7:00 a.m. and was often picked up at 7:00 p.m. Paying for such a service at the time was extremely expensive. Even though my toys and belongings were in my bedroom, I never felt like I was truly at home in our apartment. My bedroom was simply a place I went to sleep at night.
When my grandfather passed away, I was five years old. My grandmother and my two aunts moved to the South of France, 900 kilometers away. The transition was extremely difficult for me, and I cried every morning before going to school. Since my tears became “routine,” no one paid attention to them. There were also other issues, particularly at school, involving some teachers who resorted to slapping or hitting. Having to deal with a sensitive and “different” child seemed to irritate them deeply.
Today, I am very present for my own children and have never wanted to sacrifice them for the sake of a high-powered career. In my view, a mother should work on a schedule that she chooses carefully, as raising her children is her primary mission!
Creating a Safe, Supportive Environment
Children thrive in an environment where they feel heard, understood, and supported. Emotional security isn’t just about protection from physical harm; it’s about feeling accepted and valued, even when expressing fears or insecurities. Open communication is crucial here. Encourage children to share their feelings, validate their emotions, and reassure them that challenges can be overcome together. For example:
- Discuss daily experiences, including ups and downs, during family meals or bedtime routines.
- Use relatable stories to normalize struggles and show how they can lead to growth.
The Importance of Acknowledging Weaknesses
Helping children see that it’s okay to feel sad, scared, or frustrated teaches them to process their emotions healthily. Recognize their efforts and resilience, and frame mistakes or setbacks as opportunities to learn. As adults, modeling this behavior by sharing how we manage disappointments can normalize vulnerability and foster trust.
Crafting a Holiday of Emotional Connection
This Christmas, prioritize peaceful, meaningful interactions:
- Slow down: Avoid overloading schedules with activities. Balance celebrations with quiet time and free play, as these moments can provide comfort and emotional release.
- Communicate openly: Explain holiday plans in advance and involve children in preparations. Knowing what to expect reduces anxiety and helps them feel included.
- Offer reassurance: Let children know they are loved unconditionally. Create a space where they feel safe to express any concerns and are confident that solutions can be found together.
A Lifelong Gift
The ultimate gift we can offer children this Christmas is the certainty of a secure, supportive environment. By nurturing open communication and validating their emotions, we teach them to navigate life’s ups and downs with confidence. This foundation strengthens their resilience and ensures they feel valued for who they are.
The toys and decorations may fade, but the memories of a home filled with understanding, empathy, and emotional security will remain forever. Let this holiday season be a testament to love and reassurance—the best gift of all.
