Adolescence, a critical phase of growth and self-discovery, is often marked by significant challenges. Between the ages of 13 and 17, teenagers go through three particularly complex phases that shape their identity and future.
I remember that period of my own life, and… wow, it was a big challenge, or at least it felt like a series of challenges to tackle every single day, all within a constant learning environment. Because at that age, even ending a friendship is a learning experience.
1. The Quest for Independence
Around the age of 13, teenagers begin seeking autonomy from their parents. This often creates tension as they balance newfound independence with the need for guidance. This phase can be emotionally charged, as teens navigate decisions and responsibilities they’re not yet fully prepared for.
I remember that around the age of 14, I started pleading with my parents for permission to go to Paris. We lived 13 kilometers away, and it already felt like quite an adventure. Nowadays, given how poorly frequented and dangerous Paris has become (with frequent knife attacks and young teenagers killing for a phone or a cigarette), it wouldn’t happen. But let’s go back to the Paris of the 1990s—a Paris that no longer exists.
I had a bus to catch at the bottom of my street, which would take me to the edge of the neighboring town, where I’d then board a train for 30 minutes to reach the Forum des Halles, the bustling heart of the capital. I was 14 years old and always traveled with a friend, but our parents were still terrified.
As I mentioned, I wouldn’t let my own children do the same today. There’s just too much delinquency in France now, even in small villages.
But in any case, those permissions allowed me to get to know Paris and its maze of metro lines like the back of my hand, and they gave me a sense of self-confidence—even if we did a few silly things along the way…
2. Identity Formation
Between 14 and 16, teens grapple with defining who they are. They explore their values, interests, and social roles, often influenced by peer pressure and societal expectations. This phase can lead to confusion and self-doubt, but it’s also a time of discovery and growth.
Some teenagers tend to mimic their friends, while others seek true individuality—a style and aspirations that are uniquely their own.
3. Planning for the Future
As they approach 17, the pressure to make decisions about their future becomes more intense. Whether it’s choosing a career path, preparing for exams, or handling societal expectations, this phase is fraught with uncertainty and stress.
Not all teenagers approach challenges in the same way. My friends were very focused on pursuing long studies, finding a job, and then finding a boyfriend. As for me, I took a different path: I went for short studies, got into a relationship, had a child, and later returned to university to eventually pursue long studies. I then bought my house and finally started my own business.
There’s also satisfaction in doing things “out of order”! Both approaches have their advantages.
Despite these challenges, adolescence is a time of immense potential. With the right support and understanding from family, teachers, and friends, teens can navigate these phases and emerge stronger and more self-assured.
