How might we raise our children to become resil- ient? We often equate resilience with toughness. But research from the science of happiness and well- being suggests the more emotionally agile we be- come by allowing ourselves to experience a full range of human emotions, the more prepared we are to mindfully navigate the ups and the downs that life inevitably brings. Rather than toughening them up, the best we can do for our kids is to treat them with empathy and compassion. A compassionate ap- proach to raising resilient kids invites us to under- stand our children’s needs, interests and passions, focus on and nurture their strengths, and facilitate the cultivation of tools that foster well-being and success. In this way, they become equipped to meet challenges, overcome obstacles, and bounce back from adversity. We know that many of today’s young people are suffering, whether from anxiety, depres- sion, trauma, or difficult personal circumstances. Regardless of the nature or severity of their strug- gles, all of our young people deserve our compas- sion.
When we create emotionally safe spaces for learn- ing, and offer opportunities to experience and culti- vate well-being, happiness and success, at home and at school, we are providing a solid foundation that our children can draw upon throughout their aca- demic, personal, and work journeys. This talk out- lines guiding principles for raising resilient kids through a compassionate approach, and offers ev- idence-based practical tools, derived from positive psychology, for use outside and inside the classroom. Ellen Feig Gray, M.A., CPPC is a certified positive psychology coach who specializes in parenting and family life coaching, facilitating flourishing and culti- vating whole-being wellness. She is the founder of Parent with Perspective, offering coaching, mentor- ing and consulting services, as well as workshops and learning opportunities to those raising and edu-
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cating children and teens. She is co-author of Hack- ing School Culture: Designing Compassionate Class- rooms (Times 10 Publications, 2018), part of the Hack Learning series for educators.
Ellen earned her Master’s degree in developmental psychology from University of Michigan, and received her Bachelor’s degree in Psychology from Brooklyn College of C.U.N.Y., where she graduated Summa Cum Laude and was inducted into the Phi Beta Kappa and Psi Chi honor societies. She became certified in positive psychology and coaching from the WholeBeing Institute and Kripalu Center for Yoga and Health. Ellen also is a certified Let Your Yoga Dance instructor and draws much of her inspiration from the wisdom traditions. Her practical wisdom as a parent and family coach is a result of her experience raising her own child to become a resilient and thriving adult. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at https://www.ted.com/tedx
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