Here we are, mamas — back-to-school season 2025 is officially here! Some of you might be counting down the days (hello, quiet mornings), while others might be feeling a bit of that familiar September stress creeping in. Either way, one thing’s for sure: this season always brings its fair share of mental load.
And no, it’s not just about buying the right backpack or remembering which kid needs new sneakers. The mental load is that invisible weight of having to think about everything, all the time, for everyone. Sound familiar? Let’s talk about it.
Working Moms: The Double Shift
For moms working outside the home, September feels like hitting the ground running — hard. There’s work deadlines, meetings, and presentations… and then there’s orthodontist appointments, after-school pick-ups, and PTA emails stacking up in your inbox.
Your brain never really shuts off, does it? Even when you’re supposed to be winding down at night, you’re still mentally packing lunches or wondering if you signed that permission slip.
Freelance Moms: The Myth of Flexibility
If you’re running your own business or freelancing from home, you already know the truth: flexibility often means working everywhere, all the time. Between Zoom calls, dishes in the sink, laundry waiting, and a child who suddenly needs help with math homework, your day can feel like a chaotic juggling act.
And then comes the guilt — not being fully present for your work, not being fully present for your kids. That constant “never enough” feeling is the mental load talking.
Personally? I’ve learned to set some September ground rules for myself:
- Grocery run once a week, big enough to last.
- A giant family calendar in the kitchen where everyone can see what’s happening.
- Saying “no” to “urgent” projects that aren’t truly urgent. (Because losing my sanity is not on the to-do list this year.)
Stay-at-Home Moms: The Invisible Weight
Stay-at-home moms often carry the heaviest invisible load. Groceries, cooking, laundry, school projects, cleaning, homework — and let’s not forget the endless “mom, where’s my…?” moments. And because you’re “at home,” some people assume the house should look perfect 24/7. (Newsflash: it’s not a showroom, it’s a home.)
The truth? This is mental work too, and it deserves just as much recognition.
The Kids’ Side of the Mental Load
And then, of course, there are the kids:
- The oldest heading to college: you’re proud, yes, but also quietly wondering if they’ll survive without you reminding them to eat a vegetable or do laundry.
- The younger ones in elementary school: homework, forgotten gym shoes, and emotional meltdowns somehow become your responsibility too.
- Lunches: whether it’s packing a lunchbox every day or dealing with cafeteria drama, food is one of those back-to-school stress points that never seems simple.
Why It Feels So Heavy
This isn’t just “being busy.” Psychologists call it hyper-vigilance. Your brain is always on, always scanning: what’s next, what’s missing, what might go wrong? Living in that constant state of alert is exhausting. It’s why so many moms describe September as overwhelming, even when “nothing huge” is happening.
Lighter Loads, Happier Moms
So, how do we ease the weight a little? Here are a few gentle reminders:
- Share the mental responsibility, not just the chores. Your partner can remember appointments too!
- Give yourself permission to let things slide. (Nobody ever died from a missed library book.)
- Protect your boundaries: work hours, downtime, and “me-time” are sacred.
- And most importantly: remind yourself that what you do counts. Even if no one says it, it’s real, it’s valuable, and it’s enough.
Final Thought
Back-to-school season will always be busy. But you don’t have to carry the entire invisible backpack of responsibility alone. Moms who give themselves space to breathe — who dare to let go of perfection — not only feel better, they also show their kids what balance and kindness really look like.
Here’s to a smoother September, with a little more grace and a lot less guilt.
