Hello, I’m Céline, mother of two boys (20 and 9 years old), a therapist, a published author, and an artist (music, painting, and sculpture). Today, I’d like us to reflect together on a topic that is particularly close to my heart: how to help our children recognize when certain friendships are not good for them and to stay aligned with who they truly are. If you feel concerned, if this topic resonates with your own experience as a parent, write to me — I’d love to connect with you.
As parents, one of our deepest wishes is to see our children thrive — not just academically, but emotionally, socially, and spiritually. While friendships are a key part of a child’s development, some relationships can unfortunately hinder their growth. Teaching your child to recognize when certain peers are pulling them down and guiding them to place their life, purpose, and mission at the center can set them on a path of self-awareness and fulfillment.
1. Start with Self-Worth
Help your child understand their intrinsic value. Encourage them to list their strengths, passions, and what makes them unique. When children have a strong sense of self-worth, they are less likely to compromise their values to fit in.
2. Teach Them to Recognize Negative Influences
Explain in age-appropriate language what it means for someone to “bring you down.” This could include constant criticism, peer pressure, discouraging their dreams, or making them feel less than they are. Use real-life scenarios or stories to make this concept relatable.
3. Encourage Open Communication
Create a safe space for your child to talk about their friendships. Ask open-ended questions like, “How do you feel when you spend time with this friend?” or “Do you feel encouraged and happy after being with them?” Helping them reflect on these feelings nurtures emotional intelligence.
4. Empower Them to Set Boundaries
Teach your child that it’s okay to say no and to distance themselves from people who don’t respect their values. Role-playing difficult conversations can give them confidence in real-life situations.
5. Help Them Define Their Own Mission
Guide your child in thinking about what excites them, what they want to contribute to the world, and what kind of person they want to be. Framing this as their “mission” gives them a personal compass. When they encounter negative influences, remind them: “Does this support your mission or take you away from it?”
6. Model It Yourself
Children learn more from what we do than what we say. Show them how you prioritize your own values, manage difficult relationships, and stay true to your life’s purpose.
7. Reinforce Positivity
Surround your child with uplifting environments and people. Praise them when they make choices that align with their values. Celebrate progress rather than perfection.
Final Thought
Raising a child to center their life around their purpose is not about isolating them from the world; it’s about equipping them to navigate it with strength and clarity. By teaching them to recognize when friends hold them back and empowering them to stay true to their mission, you’re giving them one of the greatest gifts: the ability to live an authentic and fulfilling life.
